Wednesday, April 27, 2016

I loved you once.

I fell in love once. It was easy and fast and light. It was absolutely the best feeling in the world. But it was fleeting. 

Like a little flame on a candle without something more substantial to grab on to. No large piece of wood to burn. And without the nurturing, the tenderness, and the care, it cannot grow. 

Trying to drag it out and make it burn longer is exhausting. The wax is disappearing. 

I loved you once, just for a minute. It's okay to let that minute be the only one. 

Jigsaw Pieces

You and I were two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that never quite fit. You were the sky, and I was the earth. Always drawn to each other but never meant to touch. 

In our desire to be closer and fit better, we kept whittling away pieces of ourselves. And sometimes each other. Cutting and cutting the bits of ourselves that initially drew us together. Until we were merely shapeless prices, devoid of personality and sparkle, mostly fitting next to each other but never truly together. 

I miss you sometimes. Like the flower misses the sun. Like a tree blown by the wind, reaching ever upward but always failing to touch. 

I'm regrowing the pieces I cut off for you. It is so painful. I'm watching you regrow your pieces as well. Ultimately, my wish for you is to be whole. To find another bit of sparkling sky where you fit. Without having to cut away the bits of you that make you you. And I wish the same for me; to find a bit of fragrant earth with fertile ground where tangible things can grow and thrive. 

Friday, April 22, 2016

Social Media Voyeurism

I think your brain is sexy. I love your use of proper grammar and long words, such as "etymological". 

Even though you are far away and our paths seemed doomed to never cross again, I am enjoying the momentary glimpses into your life. 

You have captivated me since I was 14. I am grateful to know that you simply still exist, you are well, and you have grown into a person I am still very much drawn to.  

Sunday, April 3, 2016

I'm still here.

The thing is, I'm still into you. 

You're pulling away because you're scared and I'm pulling away because I'm afraid of getting hurt. 

It's going to take one us to be the bigger person and reach out. I just don't think it will be me.