Saturday, February 20, 2016

In The Fog

You were right you know. It wasn't love. It was infatuation. 

The thing about infatuation is that it fades. Especially when left unattended. 

I find myself incredibly angry with you. And when I let myself feel that way, I end up getting getting mad at myself. Am I asking too much?  Should I be giving you more space to process things at your own pace?  

Yes, I get that I come with a lot. I have a big mind and a big heart and a big family. I don't want you to be afraid of these things, I want you to be excited that I want you here to experience these things with me. I don't want you for your money or your body or the restaurants we go to. I want you for your smile and your laugh and the way you fill up a room with your presence. 

You're not doing me a favor by being with me. I genuinely like you, but if you aren't feeling the same way, please don't feel obligated to stay here. I don't want to be your fallback. Your safety. Your obligation. I deserve so much more. And I'm not afraid to ask for it. It's okay to take your time deciding, but once you decide, you need to act. Don't leave me waiting in the fog for the beam of light that will never come. I can find my own way home. 

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